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Post by popebenedict on Jan 18, 2008 15:23:29 GMT -5
"Where is the host?"
"It's almost one o' clock already?"
"Usually this thing is underway by like eight, this is getting ridiculous."
The doors opened casually and the host walked into the hall, with a bag in his hand. He was periodically pulling out fries and the occasional piece of chicken.
"Sorry I'm so late," said the host, "I accidentally slept in a bit to late, then when I woke up I was hungry a figured, I was late already what's another hour to them? So I went out and got me some Burger King." Reaching into the bag the host pulled out another piece of deep fried chicken and began to nibble on the end. "So how is everyone today? Get a good nights sleep?"
There was general agreement in the crowd, the had night had been rather peaceful.
"So who died last night? What happened to the body? I cant wait to hear about it." The host asked with a hint of excitement in his voice.
The town began to murmur amongst themselves, all asking one another if they had heard something about a death.
"So your telling me that the mafia did not kill anyone last night? That's really lame, they're slackin'" The host responded disappointedly, while taking another bite out of his chicken.
"What do we do now?" Vaxx asked.
"Hmm... well maybe they are just trying to throw us off their trail, so lets hold the town meeting anyways, death is always fun!"
NO ONE HAS DIED!!!
The host started to walk up to the podium and took out the last piece of chicken from inside of his bag. He bit into the chicken finger and felt a distinct crunch inside of his mouth. He began to chew the chicken finger and kept feeling an awkward crunching, as well as a weird taste. Putting his hand to his mouth, the host pulled the somewhat chewed chicken out of him. To the towns disgust a chicken piece was not the object to come out of his mouth, rather the top half of someones finger. Several people began to vomit at the site, as the host stared at it in amazement.
"Genius, sheer genius, if this is what I think it is. Quick! Everyone! To Burger King!" Said the host, walking out the door in the direction of BK.
The whole town crowded into the fast food establishment and the host walked up to the counter.
"May I speak to your manager please?" the host asked kindly.
"I am the manager." Responded the pimply faced teenager standing at the counter.
"Well then, this works out great." The host said reaching into his pocket and pulling out the finger. "I found this in my chicken."
"Im... im... im... so sorry sir... um... how... how... how... can we make this up to you? Please, don't sue us..." The teenager nervously responded.
"No worries my friend, all that I ask is that you let me go see your deep fryer."
"Any... any... anything you want sir... right this way..." The teenager said leading the host and as much of the crowd that could fit to the area where all of food was fried. "This is it right here." The kid said pointing to a fairly large and deep fryer.
"Thank you." The host said to the kid, turning his head to one of the bearly men he asked, "Did you bring the gloves with you like I asked?"
The bearly man grunted in response and put on a large rubber glove that covered his entire arm.
"Good, now find whoever it is."
The bearly man stuck his arm in the batter and began to feel around. After several seconds of searching he made a deep grunt and pulled out what seemed to be a gigantic piece of fried chicken.
"It seems we have found the mafia's newest victim, lets find out who it is!" the host said giddily. "Hmm... how do we go about doing this...?"
The crowd stared at the fried man for several minutes as the batter began to harden around his body.
"Guess the only way to do it is to peal it off. Go for it you to."
The bearly men began to peal away the batter at opposite ends, hoping to find the head and identify who it was. After several minutes of pealing, the burned, dead face of Stepho was revealed.
"Ouch that must of hurt." The host said taking another bite out of his chicken finger.
STEPHO IS NOW DEAD!!!
"Lets get back to the hall and get this meeting started before it gets any later than it already is." The host said to the crowd. "Fries anyone?"
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Post by Ocelot on Jan 19, 2008 23:19:36 GMT -5
Ocelot took his seat and began to analize what had been happening the last few days. He just wasnt sure anymore about who was mafia and was begining to hav doubts about even the ones closest to him. Anyone could be mafia now. Today would decide everything if he and the others were wrong today it would speell the end for the city of Dalmaska. Ocelot took a deep breath and began to speak, "Well this our time of judgement everyone. Today we live or die. We must unite today and make choice. Will we live for nothing or die for something. Listen to your hearts and as one we will begin to vanquish the darkness that has clouded our minds. We have all made mistakes due to the manipulation of this evil mafia. Now is the time to break free from there hold. They hide in the shadows and today we WILL smoke one out. MY heart is calling out a name to me. It came to me before and now I ask, no, I BEG that you trust me in my choice. Its all or nothing. Lets take it to the maxx."
Vote:Boriqua
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Post by dorkbrains on Jan 20, 2008 0:32:33 GMT -5
*Dorkbrains walks into the townhall from his sleep with a huge yawn, he wasnt wearing his normal attire, actually he was dressed in a silk robe and had a face of joy*
"I'm here!!! Finally!! Away from my old life, gosh i was sick of those idiots!!! Man all those people, those annoyances, especially that cranberry obsessed rambling excuse of a mafia Ocelot. Man i should of seen what he was from the beginning. Always backing people up to hide in the shadows, HA! Everyone knows that he couldn't hide in the shadows without being a fool!! He always came up with these silly conclusions that blamed my good friend Boriqua through a drink!! He was insane!! A fool!! Maybe i should thank him for killing me though, I mean look at this place, man,heaven isnt what you imagine it ill tell you that much!! The only problem i now is: now that I am dead, i can't just go back down there to life you know? I cant just go and change what ive done!! What have i done? Ive voted off us off...the innocents...i was foolish. Heh, what can you do though, when people just show to much of the side they arent. I mean, Toshimi, he was a drunk, he couldnt see straight how would he know?? And Ono?? That fool voted for me plenty of times, i was nothing...an innocent...why me?? But now i know, i was blind, but man if i could just go back you know? Just to go change everything."
*WHAM!!! The host came up to Dorkbrains and whacked his head with a bear bottle, breaking it into pieces*
"God damn it, what the hell is the matter with you!!! Wait...woah, hey what the hell, HOW ARE YOU HERE!!! What your not dead!!! This is my world!!! Get out!!!" yelled Dorkbrains
"You idiot wake up, your dreaming again. Come on, get the hell up, what were you doing last night?? Are you insane??" said the Host
"Wait...im not dead?? But my dream, it was so realistic. It was like nothing ever before, they were there, i cantrecall all of who was there but, they were there, with guns and knives, telling me if i ran they would kill my friends. There was that one though, oh wow, he was a scary one, i couldnt believe him, he was so brutal, he didnt care about anything, he just tossed me about and everything. He told me i was going to die, and that i couldnt do anything to stop it. I begged him to stop, i begged, he didnt want to hear it. But then, out of no where, it all stopped, i dont remember anything after that, i felt dead, i was dead, i only remember his face now, that strict face, that cruel face."
*Dorkbrains looks over at Ocelot*
"IT WAS THAT FACE!!! You killed me!!! There is no mistaking this!!! It was you, i could notice your face from miles!!! This dream wasnt any ordinary dream, this dream came to show the truth to me, you wont fool us any longer!!! Ocelot you will go where you belong, and it wont be heaven, youll be going to hell!!! And soon your friends will be with you!! I will remember what their faces were!!! You wont be alone for much longer!!! GOOD BYE!!"
Vote: Ocelot
*Dorkbrains gets up and walks out the doors, headed home*
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Post by popebenedict on Jan 20, 2008 13:41:16 GMT -5
Come on, one more of you had better vote and/or you two have to agree on one person or else no one will die today, if a mafia member isn't killed today then the innocents lose
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Post by boricua6539 on Jan 20, 2008 16:54:03 GMT -5
"There is only one person in this game that has chosen to constantly choose me, i too, like Dorkbrains am an innocent!!! Ocelot would only know im an innocent for sure if he were a mafia, so im in it with Dorkbrains, good bye Ocelot."
vote: Ocelot
and its boriCua not boriqua idiot
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Post by Vindetti on Jan 20, 2008 22:15:13 GMT -5
Vindetti used his Star Trek device and beamed into the Townhall. Before him he saw dimwitted townsfolk bickering about who killed who and it, quite frankly, bugged him. "Hey, peeps! lets not argue about who killed who, the point is that one of us killed Stepho in the night." everyone looked at him as if to say "No shit, Sherlock." "Look everybody, Dorkbrains has proven his instability time and time again. He tried to kill himself, for Pete's (whoever that is) sake! We have but one chance..... let us use it wisely. Dorkbrains always accuses with very well thought out and ingenious ideas. AND YET we never seem to score a hit, hmmm. Wonder why.... let Stepho not have died in vain, let us vanquish the true enemy right here, right now!
Vote: Dorkbrains
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Post by Ocelot on Jan 20, 2008 22:26:16 GMT -5
"All Dorkbrains you really need to shut the fuck up! Goddammit you not fucking dead! What the hell are you talking about!You say my actions don't make sense? Just take a look at yourself and just try to tell me I'm crazy. You are just trying to seem like the smart guy when you just an idiot mafia member aren't you. Tell me, no, tell us all who is really pulling the strings of your puppet ass. Whoever he OR she is they really need to work on how to be believable. At least someone sees the obviousness of your facade and Im sorry to say that BoriCua will have to live another day to kill an innocent but at least another mafia will go down today."
Vote: DorkBrains
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Post by pohatufan1 on Jan 21, 2008 13:06:55 GMT -5
"Well... Dorkbrains was expecting to die anyway. I don't really want to disappoint."
VOTE: Dorkbrains
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Post by popebenedict on Jan 22, 2008 22:33:42 GMT -5
“Ah, so it’s been decided then! Dorkbrains, its FINALLY your time to go. God, I thought you would never die… hmm… lets see… how am I going to do this…” The host said staring at Dorkbrains. Just then Ocelot walked up to the host and put his hand on the hosts shoulder, the host turned around and faced Ocelot face to face.
“Do you mind if we take care of it from her? I think we got them outnumbered now.”
“Out numbered? Oh… erm… how boring… but sure, take it away, Ill just sit back and watch.” The host clapped his hands twice and the two bearly men came out caring a lazy boy for the host. He sat down in it and reclined himself, preparing for the show at hand.
Ocelot, Vindetti, Rasaq, and Potato stood up and each grabbed one of the four remaining innocents. Ocelot took Dorkbrains, Vindetti took Hok, Rasaq Boricua and finally Potato grabbed Vaxx. Each went to opposite corners of the room and prepared the death for their victim.
Potato was the first done with his preparations. He had set up a large bulls eye and had Vaxx tied up to the center of the target. Potato was looking through a case filled with a variety of weapons in which to launch at Vaxx. “Hmm… Knifes… nope, to small… throwing axes? Er… to Canadian… Pistol… nope that’s more for the unhonorable types… Ah! I got it, a cannon, yes that’ll be pretty cool… but what to fire from it… a cannon ball is a bit to cliché… Hmm… I saw in a movie once that they used to put pennies in guns to injure the magician for the bullet catching trick… I should do the same! Wonder how it would work… Guess it wont hurt to try.” Potato removed a large cannon from the case filled with weapons and pointed it toward Vaxx. “Now where am I going to get that many pennies from?” Potato dug around in his pocket and conviently found a two pound sack of pennies. “This’ll do.” Potato opened up the sack and poured the pennies into the cannon, loaded the gun powder and prepared to fire. “One… Two… Three… SHOT!” Potato shouted as he brought the flame to the cannon and the gun powder exploded, launching all the pennies straight at Vaxx. The pennies spread ever so slightly in the air and created a shotgun effect, tearing Vaxx to bits, effectively exploding his entire body. “Wow, so I guess movies don’t always lie after all.”
Next done was Rasaq. Being the black person he was he decided to go the sexual route, silly black people. Rasaq bent Boricua over and prepared to do her from behind. Realizing the possibility of children, he decided he would have safe sex and use a condom, unfortunately he did not have one on him at the time. Thankfully he had been eating a tube of Pringles that day and had the container on him still. Dawning the Pringles can, Rasaq began to rape Boricua for a while, then got bored of same old same old sex. “You know what, I’ve always wanted to try this out; now seems to be a good time.” Rasaq removed from his back pocket a large power drill, for black people can hold an untold amount of useless objects in those things, and proceeded to drill a whole in Boricua’s head, effectively killing her on the spot, as well as spilling brain juices all over the floor. From there on he skulled screwed her and did find it strangely pleasing. “Hmm… I gots to try me this again sometime…”
Soon after Rasaq’s strange murdering of Boricua, Vindetti finished the preparations for his assassination. Vindetti had set up a large steel table and had laid upon it the struggling body of Hok. Vindetti dressed himself in a large white lab coat and goggles, as well as some rubber gloves. “Now see here Hok, this isn’t going to hurt you very much, I promise, I just want to try a little experiment on you, if this is a success it will prove to be one of the greatest advancements in video game history! Now just breathe slowly and try to go to sleep.” Vindetti said as he lowered a mask to Hok’s face, pumping sleeping gas into her body. Hok went to sleep and Vindetti went to work. About half an hour later Hok woke up, finding metallic and plastic bits all over her body. “ITS ALIVE! ITS ALIVE!” Vindetti shouted, rubbing his hands together. “Wha… wha… wha… did you do to me?” Hok muttered. “You see my dear, its quite genius, I infused your body with a XBOX 360! You are the console of the future! Have human half machine. The console runs off of your life force, so in effect it will never run out of battery and you can play it anywhere you would like! Now… lets test you out, come over here to the TV.” Vindetti sat Hok down by a television and pushed a bottom on her stomach, opening her mouth into a disk inserter. Taking out a copy of halo 2, Vindetti put the game into her mouth and closed it. “Alright, now to just plug in my controller… I don’t like that wireless crap, wastes WAY to many batteries, ya know? Now where did I put that USB port…?” Vindetti said searching Hok all over. When he was down near her feet, Vindetti accidentally hip bumped her, knocking her off her feet and dropping the cyborg to the ground.. “Crap, ok, now just get back up, I think I found it.” Vindetti said plugging his controller into Hok. He turned on the console again, ready to play some Halo. To his dismay Hok’s eyes began to flash the three red rings of death. “NO NO NO NO NO!” Vindetti shouted hitting Hok upside the head in the hopes of fixing her. “Crap, guess I’m going to just have to send her back for them to fix… Now lets see… 1-800-456-3285... Hello, yes I purchased an Xbox 360 from you and it is flashing three red rings… what should I do?… Excuse me? Could you repeat that….? One more time… Erm… sorry, but once again…. Oh, ya sure my console number is 58203832001... What do you mean its out of warranty?! Damn it, figures… just my luck.”
Ocelot was the last one done, he savored battle and dressed up Dorkbrains in a cowboy outfit very similar to his own, giving him two revolvers for the duel they were about to engage in. “I love… To reload during a battle. So, to give you a slight bit of a chance, I’m going to start this duel out with no bullets in my gun, what d’ya say? Sound good? Well to bad if it doesn’t, cause that’s the way it’s gonna’ be. NOW FACE YOUR BACK TO ME! Ocelot stood back to back with Dorkbrains and counted out ten paces with him, “One… two… three… .four… five… six… seven… eight… nine… ten… DRAW!” Ocelot shouted turning around to face Dorkbrains, drawing his gun and loading it with bullets as fast as he could. Dorkbrains was slow on the catch and lifted up his gun after Ocelot had already loaded his with all six bullets; Ocelot proceeded to fire them into Dorkbrains body, “Groin, body, body, body, head!” Dorkbrains fell to the ground dead and bleeding. “Heh, to slow for me, that wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I had hoped.” Ocelot said walking up to Dorkbrains, placing his foot on Dorkbrains back, pumping the last shot into the back of his head. “Dead… you smell like dead…”
All of the innocents were now dead and the mafia looked quite satisfied with themselves, they had taken over the town and could now do as they pleased.
“Well good job you lot, they didn’t even get one of you… kinda sad actually if you think about it, you’d think they would at least guess one of you right. Meh, whatever, I guess my job here is done. Let’s get going boys, time to move on to the text town, I will leave you all… with a Chuck Norris joke: When Superman squeezes a lump of coal he creates a diamond. When Chuck Norris squeezes a lump of coal, he creates an African child to work in his diamond mines. Good bye everyone! Good luck with the town!” The host said stepping into his car with the bearly men, waving goodbye to the mafia members, who stood in a row waving back at him with smiles on their faces. The host drove off into the distance, chuckling to himself. What an eventful few days it had been.
VAXX, HOK, BORICUA AND DORKBRAINS ARE NOW DEAD!!!
THE MAFIA HAS ONE THE GAME!!!
OCELOT, RASAQ, POTATO AND VANDETTI HAVE WON THE GAME!
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